After peace day event, I was facing some mental-block problem which dragged me down into depressed emotion. I was seeking some guidance to escape from it. Unfortunately, I failed to do so.
Few days later I was informed that I had become PTC of Acad A---such a great thing could not make me happy, even worst, I was more depressed. Nobody I can trust at that time, even myself was not exception. People said I should try chanting more. When somebody doubt on or losing faith in something, it is meaningless to do it.
One night, Some YMD and I gathered and had dialogue with each other. I did not expect anything initially, just hopefully I can speak with somebody. Conversation began smoothly. We talked a lot, from animals, aliens, history, and humanity. Suddenly, my doubt was starting broken during the conversation which took us about 6 hours---change the world.
I felt some passion inside my heart when I heard we could change the world by ourselves. This was the thing made me woke up from unnecessary-doubtfulness-mind. After knowing the world is controlled by those extreme capitalists, I had a dream o break up the system to save people up from it. There was nothing wrong with that until I knew that the financial world is full of darkness.
Sensei never mentions to break whatever system or idealism, he just keeps on emphasizing we should be more concerned others around us and never be selfish people which bring harm to others by benefiting ourselves. What we can do is to improve the things or make things better.
Capitalism is the worst system ever ? I don't think so, at least people can get their wants by putting as much effort as they can to achieve the goal without too relying on others. Sometimes I see those "equally socialism" country face financial problem when people just want money without working too much. Is this the real fairness?
Improvement should be made on the system to be more humanistic, as now we are advancing.
