It is not easy for changing a person's behaviours or habits as those have been planted since he or she was very young. Although I am seen as a knowledgeable person but I have actually a lot of bad habits or behaviours that are considered affecting my life.
Knowledgeable, can be said I know a lot of things but not very deep. The things I know is too wide---until I have always thought a lot of things and my whole day might be just spent for thinking. If I should be described as a thinker, nobody would not agree with it.
There was a time I wanted to give up of my study because of not adapting to the "spoon feeding" education system. In Asia, this kind of education system is widely implemented. People are often to complete their study for getting good result and good jobs after graduate. As a "thinker', I do not agree with it. My life should be determined by myself not by the thoughts that were given by the lecturers or teachers.
During Foundation time, I overcame the math problem. The gladness was indescribable and it was very impressed for me because I was afraid of math since secondary school. My confidence was being gradually built up at that time although I faced failure twice.
After Foundation, I thought I could take a rest and relax for a while---I have fought so hard for my study for 12 years, some rest is necessary. This made me believed that everything can be easy if I "briefly" study it without too much of hardworking. I thought I was smart enough to deal with it.
The consequence is a failure again. Wondered why I could face the third time failure? I should have improved more than I have in Foundation? Why this failure happen again on me?
Nobody can tell me the reason. Yet, I found it by myself while other people did give some insights. I have thought too hard and done so less !!
Thinker is always thinking but with very little action to prove his or her thoughts that should be applicable. Think more and more, read more and more---it doesn't help you much in realizing the thoughts ! Action is necessarily taken to make the things that you want but not sitting in a room and just thinking of the world can be changed just by thinking!
Hopefully, no, Seriously I must change myself. The things that need to change is to DO IT! Take the first ever step and never ever give up. Nobody is perfect. Do not wait the things become mature or perfectly exist then only take action! No!
I will definitely change myself !
Three NEVERs!
1. NEVER oversleep---Sleep 7 hours per day, sleeping time should be started off from 11.30pm to 6.30pm! Never think too much before sleep!
2. NEVER waste of time---No waste of time in thinking of nonsense and browsing facebook ! Feel free to read soka-gakai books or whatever books that should be inspiring.
3. NEVER give excuses---No excuse is allowed in doing anything especially when it comes to soka gakai activities and assignments, or even reading annual report. No next-time-also-can-do mindset anymore!!
Three MUSTs !
1. MUST plan well---although uncertainties are unpredictable, planning should be come out at least one or two to make sure things are not out of range.
2. MUST focus---I have lost my power of focus a long time, whenever success or creating value for my life, things that I must have is focus ! Lacking of focus make me suffering in doing anything.
3. MUST chant---whatever circumstances, chanting is a must to build up the life. Chanting is to lift-up our life.
